Why I love webmastering :

1) You make money while you sleep.

2) You can watch Godzilla and Seinfeld at the same time as you’re “working”.

3) You get to sleep in.

4) Your hard work consists of sitting in a chair and not moving.

5) Other people work hard to not even make 1/2 as much as you do.

6) And those people laugh and you when you tell them you make websites for a living.

7) Any vacation is paid really, you can go away for a few days and still make money for it.

8 ) Did I mention you make money when you sleep?

9) Work is fun (most of the time lol).

10) Once you do some testing/learning to see what works and you start making money, making more is easy as pie

1. It is impossible to lick your elbow.

2. A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out.

3. A shrimp’s heart is in their head.

4. People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart
stops for a millisecond.

5.In a study of 200,000 ostriches over a period of 80 years, no one reported a single case where an ostrich buried its head in the sand (or attempted to do so – apart from Bones ).

6. It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

7. A pregnant goldfish is called a twit

8. Between 1937 and 1945 Heinz produced a version of Alphabetic Spaghetti especially for the German market that consisted solely of little pasta swastikas.

9. In average, a human being will have sex more than 3,000 times and spend two weeks kissing in their lifetime.

10. More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

11. Rats and horses can’t vomit.

12. The “sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick” is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

13. If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die. if you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

14. Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

15. Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

16. If the government has no knowledge of aliens, then why does Title 14, Section 1211 of the Code of Federal Regulations, implemented on July 16, 1969, make it illegal for U.S. citizens to have any contact with extraterrestrial or their vehicles?

17. In every episode of Seinfeld there is a Superman somewhere.

18. The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

19. Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

20. A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.

21. 23% of all photocopier faults worldwide are caused by people sitting on them and photocopying their buttocks.

22. In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

23. Most lipstick contains fish scales.

24. Cat’s urine glows under a black-light.

25. Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print is different.

26. Over 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

The University professor challenged his students with this question.

“Did God create everything that exists?”

A student bravely replied, “Yes he did!”

“God created everything?” The professor asked.

“Yes sir”, the student replied.

The professor answered, “If God created everything, then God created evil, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil.”

The student became quiet before such an answer. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said, “Can I ask you a question professor?”

“Of course”, replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, “Professor does cold exist?”

“What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?” The students snickered at the young man’s question.

The young man replied, “In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Every body or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460? F) is the total absence of heat; all matter becomes inert and incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.”

The student continued, “Professor, does darkness exist?”

The professor responded, “Of course it does.”

The student replied, “Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton’s prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn’t this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present.”

Finally the young man asked the professor, “Sir, does evil exist?”

Now uncertain, the professor responded, “Of course as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily example of man’s inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.

To this the student replied, “Evil dies not exist sir, or at least is does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God’s love present in his heart. It’s like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light.”

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